I wanna bring you to show and tell
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Randomize
