Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
