Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
