He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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