the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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