I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
