i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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