what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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