I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Randomize