i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Come see our sink grown plant.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Randomize