My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Randomize
