Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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