those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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