Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
