Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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