I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
My vagina just recognized that song.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
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