i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
