He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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