I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Randomize
