Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
