She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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