My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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