I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
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