Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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