Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Randomize
