so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
