i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
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