If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
