The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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