grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
