I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
