Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
