question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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