Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
