best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Couch. On fire.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
