He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
