I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
