i jhust puked up my retainher.
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
