im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
