Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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