she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
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