I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
My feet surprised me
Randomize
