I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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