he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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