omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Randomize
