Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
You ruined the universe
Randomize
