I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
