Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
If that was your dad, he is hot
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
