Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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