just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
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