Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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