i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize