I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
