He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize