My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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