so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
