I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
