I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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