Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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