I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
