yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
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