the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
