hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Randomize
