A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Randomize
