Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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