i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
