Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
