she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Randomize
