i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Randomize
