I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize